It’s time to open up the Fabbaloo mailbag and see what fun happened lately.
As a major publication, we normally receive a ton of email from sources worldwide. Sometimes the messages are a bit questionable, and we’d like to show you some of what we deal with daily.
The following are all actual emails we recently received, believe it or not, with my responses.
“Questions ie selection of equipment vs app. ie size of product range ?”
I agree strongly with this. We all have questions of equipment or app. And range. Size.
“Hello, fabbaloo.com team!
Would you like to expand your profit from the website with the help of native banners from Content.Ad?
HIT THE REPLY BUTTON right now, just say hi and I’ll do all the next work for you:
-select the perfectly matching ad placement according to your unique website features;
-offer you the creamy terms – CPC 0,8-5,4$/daily fix/fixed CPM;
-prepare the money-making codes.
The fall season is here, HUGE AMOUNT OF QUALITY TRAFFIC WANTED, which means you are able to get the fresh dream-budgets for your fabbaloo.com. Our advertisers are ready to outbid any competitor or pay according to your wishes.”
I am quite intrigued by the notion of obtaining “HUGE AMOUNT OF QUALITY TRAFFIC”, but even more so with the creamy terms offered. I’ve never had anyone offer me creamy terms before.
Are they safe? Do I need to wear gloves?
“Hi
Sent from my iPhone”
Um, “hi” back to you.
I’m feeling shy now.
“Hi, Fabbaloo
Our client company sells water treatment product
I find your website by google
I want to submit unqiue article with 1000 words about water treatment to your website.”
We are pleased to know you can find our website by google, I wasn’t certain this actually worked, so it’s good to get confirmation from a reputable source. Unfortunately, we don’t have any spots available for water treatment stories this month. Or next. And that’s true even if they are unqiue.
“Hope you are fine.
We are manufacturers and exporters of a wide range of Leather ballet shoes, canvas ballet shoes, jazz shoes,Irish shoes, gymnastic shoes, toe shoes, dancing shoes and related leather accessories.
We request you to visit our website:www.[REDACTED].com”
I’ve never heard of Irish shoes? Are they different from, say, Scottish shoes? If you happened to have Danish shoes we might have been interested, although the “toe shoes” could be intriguing.
“i want to purchase tray for MAKYN 6, please send me the quotation,
also can you provide us a technical support?”
Nope. Sorry. We write news only. You should contact Nyomo (producers of the Makyn 6) for this. Oops, they don’t seem to be around anymore! It might be tricky to find a tray now.
I’m afraid we don’t have a technical support around here, either.
”Get back urgently pls”
OMG, sorry, I forgot to respond. Hoping your incredible offer is still available.
What was it about again?
“Urgent Help…..
Hello, How are you doing? Please i need a great favor from you.
Yours truly,
“
Yes, I am fine. How are you? Wait, what’s your name? You seem to have omitted it on your urgent email. We don’t provide favors to unnamed strangers, but we just might for named strangers.
”I recently ran into Fabbaloo and believe your product line could benefit from our injection molding services.
As an injection molding specialist, I would be happy to give you a budgetary quote or jump on a call to further discuss this possibility.”
I believe we cannot benefit from your injection molding services, unless your equipment is able to rapidly mass produce high-quality 3D print stories via hot injections of thermoplastic. Sounds like a smooth idea!
“Hi there,
How can you generate sales orders?
Are you interested? Let me know. I will send complete action plan.
Cheers!”
That’s exactly what we need! A COMPLETE action plan! If only we had such a thing!
But what is the plan for again?
”I read your Press Release published on PRWire, great to hear from you again.
As you might recall, I work for the PR firm [REDACTED]. I’d be interested in publishing an interview with your pr the CEO; this will be featured in Google News and published, among other top publications, also in StarTribune.“
That’s strange. We’ve NEVER used PRWIRE for any announcements, but we’re happy you’d like to hear from us again. Very interested to appear in the Google News, which you seem to have special access to. However, not at all interested in the StarTribune, whatever that might be.
“To “Appropriate person” of Fabbaloo.Com
I am writing with hopes of finding the appropriate person who handles advertising and promotional work. I just want to inform you some of the reasons why your website is not getting enough visitors who might turn to be your potential customers/clients? I think this information will be helpful to you.”
Well, you managed to visit us, it appears.
In any case, we have no one here named “Appropriate Person”.
“Hi!
My name is [NICE FRIENDLY NAME] and I am from [REDACTED].com
[REDACTED].com is an online printing service with over 20 years of experience printing business cards, brochures, invitations, stickers, and more. It also provides mailing services, like direct mail postcards, direct mail brochures.
I have been going through your Directory/ Catalogue {fabbaloo.com} for quite some time now. I must admit that I am truly impressed by their uniqueness and in-depth details. I have shared some of them with my email subscribers and the feedback has been overwhelming.
For this reason, I would like to share our website link in your Directory/ Catalogue.”
Um, we don’t have a Directory / Catalogue. Would it be slightly possible you are fibbing? Also, you forgot to remove the curly brackets from your mass mailing form…
”Dear Suppliers
[COMPANY NAME REDACTED] is willing to enlarge the business with 3D printers and spare parts in Brazil.
We are looking for a long term partnership to import these products into Brazil.
Are you interested in Brazilian Market?”
Well, we already publish our stories in Brazil through the internet, but if you have a better way to ship our 3D printing news posts to that country, we’re all ears!
Should we arrange for them to be sealed in a 45gal drum for shipment?
“Dear Suppliers
I still did not receive your feedback about this inquiry.
Please send me your best offer by Moday Mar 2nd.
Additionally please advise if you are interesting in cooperating with our company to be your exclusive distributor.”
That’s curious, because we never received your first inquiry. Nevertheless, we were not able to send our best offer by Moday. Tremendous Apologies!
”Good day to you Dear partner,
I sent you a fax document with information about our contract. Urgent response required. You can view this message in attached file.
Best regards,
[FAKE NAME]
[REDACTED] Financial Advisors, Inc. Asst. Manager
[SUSPECT ADDRESS]“
Somehow we can’t find your website, Dear submitter, perhaps there is a problem? Also, your address seems to be in the middle of a lawn bowling club? Does this have anything to do with my poor croquet skills?
“OPEN IMMEDIATELY!!!”
NO!
“Message: Hello,
I am [REDACTED NAME], l will like to order for 1000 pieces of HEAVY cotton Gildan Blank T-shirts, So kindly see below and get back to me with the total price cost and also let me know if there is surcharge on the use of Visa or Master Card.I will be waiting for a response as soon as possible.
Size:Adult Medium size
Color:White
100 % cotton
Brand:Gildan
Quantity:250Pcs.Size:Adult Medium size
Color:Black
100 % cotton
Brand:Gildan
Quantity:250Pcs.”
Hello, [REDACTED NAME]! I’m glad you reached out. We have made Fabbaloo shirts previously, but they were not HEAVY, but in fact quite LIGHT, so I suppose you are no longer interested.
Also, how did you get our number?
“Website Enquiry
Email: [SUSPICIOUS EMAIL ADDRESS REDACTED]
Message:
“
I rather enjoy emails that keep things brief and to the point, which is precisely what you’ve done here. This is as brief as can be achieved and still get across the full content!
And that’s it for this round. We’ll keep watching your emails as they arrive, but be aware that if they are questionable they might show up in our next mailbag report.
